This was a question that someone asked me on quora. Perhaps the person wanted to ask if you tell everything to your parents and do they know everything about you. This question comes to us many times. Here’s my answer:
I don’t know what you mean when you say ‘open’.
I’m not on Whatsapp. We (homies) have a secret, island-like app- mum, dad, dadi and me- which we use to communicate. It works exactly like Whatsapp and better- no statuses, no stories- simple shit. When am I coming home, whether I’ll be late, dinner at home or not, details of a trip that I am planning, sharing photos from the trip, sharing my friends’ numbers, etc. I like to keep them updated with these little things, so they are not unnecessarily worried and know what to expect. Apart from that, my parents are really cool too. Because it’s a once in a blue moon thing that they’d randomly call and ask me, ‘Where are you?’ (which is a regular and hourly think in a lot of my friends’ families). They never call unnecessarily or trying to spy on me.
Most mornings, we end up talking about things. These are very open debates about things around, politics, some social issue, what’s happening at work, etc. There should be scope for such conversations in every home. The parents and the children feel heard and don’t keep their feelings, thoughts hidden or suppressed. This is called catharsis.
I am one of those emotional people who cry when they are trying to explain something while they are hurt. So I either write down a letter and tuck in their cupboard or I write a long text explaining my side. Recently when I was going through a bad phase, I wrote to them how I know they love me but I need time. Letters can be incredible. It feels awkward initially but it might actually work. On better days (when I don’t begin crying while sharing my emotions), these conversations smoothly happen on the table too.
The Myth of ‘Telling Everything’
It is a myth that you must tell everything to your parents or to anyone you love dearly. Each one is an individual first and has their own private life. I don’t tell EVERYTHING to them but I make sure I tell them most of the important things in my life that they need to know. After growing up, not just parents, you don’t need to tell EVERYTHING to ANYONE.