Tell Me Your Dreams, Girl

In my experience of interviewing freshers, I struggle to take out important information like ‘what are some of your goals’. They just don’t know. Our education system doesn’t motivate us to ‘think’. Here in India, we are just taught to believe in what is being told. While interviewing girls, most of the times, their goals are defined in the next few years (before marriage). We have an increasing breed of girls, who do a post-graduation only to postpone marriage.

“What do you want to do in life?” is a daunting question for most. Having that answer is a luxury, they just hope they get a family which ‘lets them work’.

“The guy is very ambitious” is generally a compliment. It means that the guy is focused towards career and wants to grow. Ironically, “The girl is very ambitious” means she is rude, selfish and family is not her priority. To prove that she is not selfish, she will quit her job for her brother/sister’s wedding preparations/quit her job before marriage/quit her job to “settle and plan for a baby”/quit her job after she’s had a baby. And a lot of people are too petty to link it with money. “We have money so she need not work.” If a person from marketing background comes for an HR interview, we ask them an obvious question, ‘Why this sudden change of field?’ We don’t ask the same question to our daughters. Why does she want to quit everything and be a homemaker? Even though it reflects heavily on our societal culture, there is nothing wrong in wanting to be a homemaker. It is everyone’s personal choice.

But we must genuinely ask her, “‪What are your dreams?” to be sure, we are not walking on the debris of someone’s dreams.

This piece was first published in City Bhaskar, Ahmedabad. It was translated in Gujarati. I keep writing things on Gender, Social Issues, Travel..and sometimes Poetry too. If you like my writing, FOLLOW my blog so you can get it on mail every time I post!


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