What a man must not do: Chivalry Diaries

There is nothing in the world that he ‘must not do’. There is no work that is low level and nothing hurts his ego. The male ego is an essential part of the quintessential Indian society. But to him, it’s an alien concept. Nothing bothers him. He is the only child of his widow mother and has seen the toughest possible times that a person his age ideally should have. His friends were busy buying toys and other things while he was helping his mom with home chores. When his friends were getting two wheelers, he would walk long roads for saving some tens or twenties. They’ve seen it all.


And so when you see him today, nothing like a monster called male ego, stops him from doing something. He would willingly sweep the floors when the maid isn’t around because his mother has a spine problem. He helps her learn different tricks of stock market and helps her file her IT returns. She also makes pickles and other delicious foods and boy, she has many buyers. She is otherwise a home-maker. He recently motivated her to learn how to operate computer, something that she wanted to do for years. He found a nearby computer center aimed for empowering women and got her registered there. She has joined it and looks like she will soon manage her own accounts. He has seen his mom struggle and bravely come out of difficult times. And that’s his idea about women in general. He knows anyone can do anything and no one is made to do a certain kind of thing.

When you meet guys like that, you don’t want them to open doors for you or grab you a chair, (or carry my books for me- more relevant) to show the respect they have for you. The beauty is that you can choose to have such men, rather such people around you, who altogether make chivalry unnecessary. Long live chivalry. I am lucky to know many such guys/men in my life.


I have been lucky. I shouldn’t complain. I have been lucky enough to know some of the best men, ever. They have been supportive, have never really complained about the feminism flag. People like my father, business partners, friends and sometimes guys even without any relationship tag. They’ve been there.


It’s just beautiful how to such people, you are not just a woman. These people treat you like humans. Ironically, that feels special.


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8 thoughts on “What a man must not do: Chivalry Diaries

  1. ‘સ્ત્રીદાક્ષિણ્ય’ના નામે આવું બહુ ચાલ્યું. હવે તારા જેવી મિત્રો વળતા વ્યવહાર તરીકે ‘બાબાઓ’ માટે ગાડીના દરવાજા ખોલી આપે કે એમની ચોપડીઓ ઉંચકી લે કે રેસ્તોરાંમાં એમને ખુરશી ખેંચી આપે, એની રાહ જોઉં છું 🙂


    1. Saav undhu karva thi bhi kya ukel aave che. Best e che ke banne potanu nanu motu Kaam khud kari le… And Ek bija ne kaik Kari aape toh ene koi respect ni theory thi jodi ne brownie points levanu try na kare.

      Ahiya toh Ek vaar darwaju kholyu hoy ne 10 vaar ganaave 😅


  2. I loved this perspective, especially amid all the “feminism ki jai” going on in all the things around these days-months-years. When you have an open mind for things which deserve appreciation instead of wearing a black strap on your eyes which shows you just the black side of society’s perceptions, you know you have something right inside your brain. Well done Aarti. Loved reading this. It brought a smile on my face 🙂


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